Falling to Pieces!

Well, that's when I know that I am alive. When the complete puzzle begins to unravel, then I know that I was in the position to secure a place in the world. I guess it's to be expected that I will feel less then stellar. After all, I had a very good run of it, and I couldn't ask for more. Then, the question could be stated that I was faking it all along. I don't necessarily know, but I do know that I will force this emotional shift back to the positive side of things. But, the gray and uncertain areas is where I do some of the best material that I can fathom.

A person in my life flew into town on Tuesday. I was happy to see her, and then I wasn't to excited. I don't know maybe it's me getting over the mistakes I made by trying to be with her, or not. All I know now is that I feel like she owes me about 2 1/2 years of my life back, and I will collect because I can be seen as a repo man. That explains why, I gave her the iceberg cold shoulder, and I will continue to do so. In many respects, I know she doesn't deserve me, and that's the main reason that I am cutting her loose. Saying farewell to you, and I hope you live a prosperous life. Giving people who wronged you well wishes is a surefire way to make them regret their decision making for the rest of their lives. She will realize it when it's over after all that she made a huge error by not treating a king with the honor the title bestows. Nuff about that.

Well, the X-MAS day was okay. All I did was play PS2 on and off. Watch some stuff, no, I wrote some stuff. Some really good stuff too. I sent this to my pal down by the bayou, and he emailed back saying he would deliver it for me tonight at the open mic.

Anyway, I don't really make plans to celebrate a new year, and all the hoopla. But this incoming year seems different. I feel I need to let off some tension, and meet some interesting hot chicks, and become close acquaintances with them. LA, yeah the other LA. They can have LA that LA that the city of New Orleans is apart of. I really have no ultimate desire to return and live. I feel slighted by all of them in the bayou area. I also feel slighted by FEMA and UNO. Both parties haven't sent me my just do as I type now. It's ashame how they treat this college student. I didn't do anything to wrong these guys. I have no idea on why they are doing me so dirty.

Sometimes, I think it's true. That you carry negatives in one area in your life to all areas, and vice versa with the positive sides. I just have to keep moving forward, and denouncing all who challenge my authority of the throne. I will not lose, simply put.

Tony Dungy went back to coach his NFL COlts, and I guessed he would. It's a good diversion from his reality right now, and I can't blame him at all for that. I wish him the best, but not his colts. Although, I pre-season picked them to win the bowl this year. I don't know why, I just picked them. My cowboys still have a chance to go to the postseason, and that will make a good start to 2006 for me, but we need some help. One reason why I am pulling for the saints to beat the bucs, and I want a NYG lost to the redskins. Then, the redskins could lose, and that would make me even more happier. Go Dallas.

Pussycatdolls on Ellen. I was thrilled to see NICOLE and the girls from PCD on the t.v. today. Damn, Nicole gets more beautiful by the second. I would have kids for that woman. I would definitely try to make her my #1 pick in the female draft. Sorry Brooke Valentine, Beyonce, Mariah, Adriana. Hold up, I think I would select Adriana Lima too. Then, that would be to unfair, but only unfair to these pricks, not necessarily myself.

My Mother went to a hospital in Fort Worth yesterday, and she was told about her high blood pressure. It's true over these last trying months she has been overextending herself. She has been stressing out over the flood insurance people lying to us on every occasion. She has been worried about FEMA screwing us over, and all the other adventures that being an evacuee of Hurricane K entails. On today, the doctor instructed her to stop eating all of those salty foods, and cut down on her caffeine and salt intakes. I will definitely make sure she follows the doctors orders. I am hard on her, but I know she can be better, and I want her to be better. Hell, I am under intense scrutiny and I have been since I took my first breath in this world. The toughness that being a middle child has been a gift and curse on me. Though, I will only take it as the challenge that will not defeat me. I will not lose, and that' s about it.